اگر بخواهیم همیشه جواب هر سوالی را جدی بدهیم، زندگی بی مزه میشود! چرا که اینکار هم باعث تکراری شدن برخی موارد شده و هم حس شوخ طبعی را از بین میبرد. مثلا شاید شخصی از من بپرسید «خوبی؟!» و من به جای جوابهای مرسوم «بله»، «مرسی»، «نه»، «قربونت» و …، بگویم «نه من خوب نیستم هادیم خودت خوبی!»
در زبان انگلیسی و هر زبان دیگری نیز میتوان چنین کارهایی انجام داد و الزامی نیست که حتما اصطلاح خاصی مخصوص یک منطقه باشد و شما میتوانید با توجه به مفهوم جمله، خودتان جوابهای خندهدار وشوخ طبعی را برگزیده و بگویید.
البته همهی این جوابها به طرز مسخره آمیزی نبوده و در بسیاری از آنها نیز به پاسخ اصلی خود میتوانیم برسیم. ما در ادامه، این پاسخها را برای How Are You در دستهبندیهای مختلفی قرار دادهایم و شما میتوانید از نظرات، جوابهای خندهدار خود را نیز برایمان ارسال کنید.
1. بهترین جوابها
- Somewhere between better and best.
- All the better now that you asked.
- Oh stop it, you. (Say it like you’re receiving a compliment even though you are not. LOL)
- I love you. (This is a good response to fluster and catch them off-guard.)
- Much better now that you are with me.
- At minding my own business? Better than most people.
- I am as happy as a tick on a big, fat dog.
- Do you really care?
- Armed and ready!
- My lawyer says I don’t have to answer that question.
- What do you want? (Hahaha. This might across as rude, so use with caution.)
- I’ve been going through some crests and troughs in my life. Is everything stable at your end?
- Like you, but better.
- I could really go for a massage.
- I’d say I’m a [insert number here] out of 10.
- I was fine until you asked.
- If I were doing any better, I’d hire you to enjoy it with me.
- I hear good things, but you should never listen to rumors.
- Like a pitbull in a butcher shop [or any other outrageous simile].
- As fine as a maiden’s flaxen hair.
2. جوابهای خندهدار
- Overworked and underpaid.
- Nothing much. (This one is so trite that it takes a few moments for the humor to sink in.)
- I don’t know, you tell me. How am I right now?
- Can’t complain. Nobody listens to me anyway.
- Good enough. (This one will definitely keep them guessing.)
- If I were any better, I’d be you.
- Quite how, thank you. (This makes no sense, but it’s funny.)
- Not so well, does that bother you?
- Nice and dandy like cotton candy. (Dandy rhymes with cotton candy!)
- I can’t complain! It’s against the Company Policy.
- Average. Not terrific, not terrible, just average.
- If I were any better, I’d be illegal.
- So far, so good!
- How dare you! (If you don’t have an immediate reply in mind, just say this automatically. LOL)
- Better now that I’m talking to you.
- Well, I haven’t had my morning coffee yet and no one has gotten hurt, so I’d say “pretty good” at this point in time.
- Well, unless the weather has different plans in store.
- Maybe one day you’ll be lucky enough to find out.
3. به جای Fine و Good چی بگیم؟!
- I have no way of knowing.
- Yes. (Woah there, it looks like you weren’t paying attention.)
- Living a dream. Please don’t wake me up.
- At least there’s plenty of room for improvement!
- I’m pretty standard right now.
- Doing well, unless you have intentions of shooting me.
- Happy and content, thank you.
- Compared to who?
- Do I have to answer?
- Well enough to chat with you if you wish to.
- Going great. Hope this status quo persists for rest of the day.
- Physically? Mentally? Spiritually? Socioeconomically? Financially? I’m not sure how to answer that!?!
- Strange, and getting stranger.
- Not so good, but I plan on lying at my press conference.
- If I had a tail, I would wag it.
- I’ve heard various opinions: What’s yours?
- How am I. . . what?
- Thank you for asking, though you can judge for yourself.
- Why do you ask? Are you a doctor?
- Word on the street is that I’m really good.
4. شوخ طبعی
- I’m better than I was, but not nearly as good as I’m going to be.
- I think I’m doing OK. How do you think I’m doing?
- I can’t complain, but sometimes I still do.
- I am blessed!
- Way better than I deserve!
- Shhh. . . it’s too early to tell.
- I dunno. Is it Friday yet?
- I don’t feel that great, but my hair looks awesome, right?
- I have a pulse, so I must be okay.
- Doing well, unless you have an airborne disease and infect me with some pathogens.
- I’m doing really well. [Then pause and say] “Of course, that could be my anti-depressant prescription talking.”
- Oh, you know, every day is better than the next.
- Better than some, not as good as others.
- My psychiatrist told me not to discuss it with strangers.
- Medium well. (What are you, a steak?)
- All right so far, but there’s still time for everything to go horribly wrong. (Ah, the forever pessimist.)
5. پاسخهای شگفتانگیز
- I’m trying really hard to avoid ambiguous questions at the moment.
- Wondering how you are.
- How do you think I am?
- I’ll leave that up to your imagination.
- It’s a secret.
- Do you want the short or long version?
- I would be lying if I said I’m fine.
- I’m pretty sure I am not obligated to tell you.
- I’m ready for a nap. (I’m sure you are.)
- Surviving, I guess.
- Not as good as you.
- Holy sh*t, you can see me?! (This never fails in bringing on the chuckles.)
- In need of some peace and quiet.
- Under renovation.
- Remembering to stay patient.
- I’m sober! (Congratulations!)
- On a scale from one to punching someone in the face?
- Dancing to the rhythm of life.
- Imagining myself having a fabulous vacation.
- Horrible, now that I’ve met you.
- You do not want to know.
- [*just stare*]
- That is a really wonderful question. Ummm…
- Happy and you know it. [*clap your hands*]
- Next question, please.
6. هوشمندانه و منحصر به فرد
- In order to answer the question, I need to take you back about ten years. Do you have a moment?
- Living a life of denial and suppressed rage.
- Slowly but surely dying.
- Fair to partly cloudy.
- “Hey look over there!” [*punch person in the throat*] (Remember kids, do not try this at home.)
- Groovy!
- Well, I’ve got this rash on my left butt cheek… (Way to make the conversation a bit awkward!)
- Not bad. Could be better. Could be payday.
- I’m better on the inside than I look on the outside
- Great, stellar, fantastic, but dead inside.
- Okay, since my name wasn’t in today’s obituaries.
- Oh terrible, but I’m used to it. (I feel you, friend.)
- What’s with all the questions? You a cop?
- As opposed to what?
- Sunshine all day long!
- You go first so we can compare.
- I’m not sure yet.
- Living the dream, but half the time it’s a nightmare.
- Not quite there yet. (Where is there?)
- Dangerously close to fabulous.
- You’re lookin’ at it.
- Real terrible, thanks for asking.
- I am high-quality.
- The doctor said I’d live.
7. اگه پرسید What Are You Doing
- I’m sure you have that information on your screen.
- How much will you pay me if I tell you?
- Living the dream!
- WHY!? WHAT ARE THEY SAYING ABOUT ME? (Hahaha! Way to act suspicious of everything!)
- I’m taking over the world.
- Dying.
- Hunting dragons. You?
- I promised myself I would kill the next person who asked me that question, but I like you so I will let you live.
- Rolling with the punches.
- [*speaks gibberish*]
- Your attempt at social interaction is hereby acknowledged.
- Not today, Satan!
8. زشت و لاسی
- Incredibly good looking.
- Everything is fine with you around.
- I’d be better if you asked me out.
- Great, but I’m totally biased.
- How am I?! in bed? (Wait, what?!)
- Getting better with every passing minute.
- What an impertinent question to ask a girl [or guy]!
- Living a dream. Don’t wake me up. You may join me. There’s plenty of room.
- The best I can be. Assuming you’re at your best too.
- I’m so great I have to sit on my hands to keep myself from clapping.
9. وقتی اوکی (رو به راه) نباشین
- I’m still sucking air.
- I’m completely prepared for the end of the world.
- They told me you would ask me that.
- Better than nothing.
- Well, I’m still alive.
- Could be better [then pause and say] could be worse.
- Somewhere between blah and meh.
- I’ll let you know when I figure it all out.
- Do you want an honest answer or the answer you were expecting?
- I’m vertical and breathing.
- Different day, same existence.
- Trying to get on with life, thanks. What about you?
- Trying not to burst into tears. I get an “A” for effort, right?
- Navigating the twists and turns of life. I hope yours is a straight road.
- Just hug me and leave it at that.
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